Why Apologizing Can Be Harmful

Have you ever noticed how often apologies backfire? And then start another argument?

Apologies are so misunderstood!

I believe that the reason that couples don’t apologize enough to one another because

A) couples don’t know how

B) they have false expectations about apologies

C) apologies get confused with other messages

D) it’s insincere.

Saying “I’m sorry” is always important. But it’s often a trigger! It’s been used to stop arguments rather than resolve them, to manipulate, to get away with bad behavior. “I’m sorry” gets attached to empty promises such as “I won’t do it again”.

We sometimes believe that “I’m sorry” should solve the problem. But usually an apology just scratches the surface. It rarely gets to the heart of the conflict.  Then “I’m sorry” just sets up the next round of conflict.

If you want my free guide, The Art of Apology, email me at coupleswhofighttoomuch.com and I’ll send it to you. This Guide has a brief script that makes apologizing safe, swift, easy and heartfelt. And it does not include the words “I’m sorry.”